Lamniformes Song of the Month: "Hanging Judge"
Plus, Lamniformes returns to the stage!!
Coming in just under the deadline, here is our second edition of Lamniformes Song of the Month! Picking up from last month’s reflections on “Court In Session”, the opening track from our 2012 concept demo Trials, this month we move on spot down the track list to consider “Hanging Judge”.
“Court”, a glorified introduction, was two and a half minutes of building tension. “Hanging Judge” is the tension released, a kinetic shot that starts the record in earnest. This song came out of a mix of writing on the five-string bass that I briefly owned in college and the cheap keyboard that I used until finally upgrading to a Midi controller after graduating. Most of the material came from an abandoned demo for a Metallica-style thrash epic that I never finished. When I couldn’t find my way out of a-far-too-long bridge I scrapped the tune for parts and tried for something a little more concise. The bridge riff turned into the new verse, the old verse became the new breakdown, etc. Never be afraid to repurpose old ideas! The chorus was a brand new idea, written like “Court In Session” with the idea of sounding more like Converge. Much of Trials is an exercise in applied Converge-ology, replicating the lessons learned from obsessing over No Heroes & Axe To Fall in my own songwriting. Mixed measures of 4/4 and 5/4 in the verse with two vocalists trading lines? Converge as heck. In the chorus I was going for the kind of heavily chromatic, screechy d-beat thing they do on some of their faster tunes.
Other than Converge, my other big influence on “Hanging Judge” was Russian Neo-Classical composer Dmitri Shostakovich. Around the time I started writing the Trials tunes I wrote a big paper on Shostakovich’s 4th Symphony for my end of semester final assignment in a Musicology class. The piece had a long lasting impression on me, as readers who’ve followed this newsletter since the summer of 2023 may readily recall. Beyond the piece’s fascinating and turbulent historical context, I flat out loved how crunchy and heavy Shostakovich could make the orchestra. I got so taken with the piece that I toyed around with turning some of its motifs into metal riffs, which eventually led to the riff that starts off the thrash break in the middle of the song. If you can spot where I nicked that motif from DM me. My music school homework also crops up at the end of the song when the chorus d-beat riff spins out into three part counterpoint between the bass and two guitars. Stepping outside of myself this is quite the telling detail. The song spends its whole run time trying to pose as a tough-as-nails (if not exactly as tough as Nails) hardcore rager, only to slip into fancy music school formalism at the last second. Gee, I wonder what that could signify?
While we have that irony on the mind, let’s take a look at the lyrics. Trials is split into two sections. Side A, which contains the first eight songs, is subtitled “Witnesses & Evidence”. The second, covering the final five tracks, is “Statements & Sentencing”. Side A is where I expose the uglier aspects of my soul that had festered for the whole of my young adult life, Side B is where I hold myself accountable for those aspects and try to chart a course forward. On “Hanging Judge” I admit under oath to being a certified Hater. I looked out on the music scene, mostly made up of my peers, and deemed it phony. The song spits venom at the “sadsack jesters” and “bastards from broken castles”, whose music traded on big weepy emotional catharsis instead of craft. I resented that this bleeding heart stuff worked, especially because I didn’t think these kids, be they indie or emo, had anything to complain about.
I want to draw your attention to the final line of the bridge where I round out the courtroom metaphor by mentioning the “blood-thirsty jury”. Might not seem like much more than tough-sounding filler, but I know what I was trying to say here. My frustration with music culture wasn’t limited to the artists. I also resented the audience for rewarding and tacitly encouraging this bellyaching. The way I saw it, audiences have a blood lust for the suffering of artists. They feed off of the heartache, tragedy, and personal pain imbued into the music. The realer the pain, the better. This dynamic, where the audience asks for ever-more authentic displays of suffering from artists incentivized to give the people what they want in order to survive, could only lead to danger. You can pick your own example of self-destructive artists and toxic fans from real life. I was on to something, and I wish I’d spent more of the song talking about this instead of airing my petty grievances.
I am unsure of exactly how much self-awareness I can credit myself with here. I knew that spitting this kind of bile was a bad look, that’s what its on the first side of the record, but I’m not sure I was hip to exactly how hypocritical I looked. Aren’t I doing the exact same bellyaching and from the same position of privilege? Who am I to say anything about the realness of anyone else’s pain? Maybe that’s what I was getting at with the closing question.
Last notes on the lyrics: the references to a “stone to carry” in the chorus was written with near certainty that I’d be writing about the Myth of Sisyphus on my next record. Followed through on that one, too. This song is lighter on Neon Genesis Evangelion allusion than the previous track, but the mention of “vultures” in the bridge was intended to call to mind the vicious mass produced EVAs from End of Evangelion. We’ll get more into them once we talk about the song “…And Tribulations”.
We used to play “Hanging Judge” a bunch, almost always directly out of “Court In Session”. It always felt a little out of control, sometimes in a fun way. Other times it just sounded rushed and sloppy. Former bassist Parker would handle the lower harsh vocals in the verse, I’d take the high ones. I guess Logan and Josh would have to do those if we played it live these days. Don’t get your hopes up about that. These riffs are still pretty sick, but I can’t see any reason to sing these lyrics in front of any audience in 2026.
Next month: “Blood, Ash, Shattered Glass”
# # # # # The Promo Zone # # # # #
I am beyond excited to inform you that on June 12th, Lamniformes will perform live at The Lowdown in Chicago, IL in support of our friends in Sprite, who are releasing a brand new tape on that same day. Also joining the bill are Empty Heaven, who have been making a name for themselves across the midwest in the last few years. This show has been a long time coming. We will be performing some favorites that Chicagoans may recognize from the previous incarnation of the band, along with songs that have never before been performed for a live audience. Needless to say, if you live in the Chicago area I would like you to be counted among that audience. Given that The Lowdown is a DIY joint I cannot provide their address in public. However if you are pure of heart and send me a DM, I will inform you of where to go. Holy smokes I can’t believe we’re a real band again!
June 12th is also the day when Bellows’ new album “Que Bello!” enters the world. This is such a big deal that I decided to relaunch my defunct podcast Lamniformes Radio in order to talk to Oliver Kalb (Bellows’ principle songwriter and singer) about his creative process, how “Que Bello!” fits into the canon of double albums, teaching, French edgelords, bad airplane etiquette and much more! Always a blast to chat with Oliver. You can find the podcast on (most) platforms that provide such media, or you can click play below:
Also, you can catch Bellows on tour later this summer!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Listening Diary ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Listen to this year’s diary on Apple Music.
“Fermented Hours” by Wobbler (From Silence to Somewhere, 2017)
While I was preparing to shoot the Progmatism video with Zack roughly a year ago, I took a cruise through the Prog Archives charts with an eye for highly rated albums I’d never heard. I suspected I’d need to cover my bases in case I was called on to drop elite ball knowledge (two sport metaphor, sorry). By the time I finally got around to this track I’d completely forgotten any details about the release and was then stunned to re-learn that they were a modern act. This is some impeccable cosplay! No matter when this track hailed from I knew I was in for a good time when they started singing about an old man in a tower in a dark land of ice and snow. Hell yeah brothers, tell me more.
“Cowgirl in the Sand” by Neil Young (Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere, 1969)
On the encouragement of former Sharpless bassist Aaron Sheehan I went on a Neil Young adventure this spring, catching up on a number of iconic records from the Canadian that I’d never made the time to listen to before. This was a journey worth taking and time well spent. Thanks Aaron! I quickly realized that I enjoy Young most when he’s working in a very particular register, namely when he’s cranked the distortion but with no hurry to get anywhere anytime soon. Young is an all time icon of the “loud guitars / soft singing” mode. The low fidelity only makes those meandering leads all the more trippy.
“Revolution Blues” by Neil Young (On The Beach, 1974)
More crunchy Neil Young rockers, this time with a heck of a groovy drum part. I have not typically thought of Young as an artist with much going on rhythmically, perhaps this is why it took me so long to get acquainted with his classics, but the way the snare drum pops in and out of this groove is real tasty. I haven’t done a deep read on the lyrics, but I am intrigued by the lyrical voice here. Obviously Young himself was one of the stars living in Laurel Canyon. Is he singing from the perspective of a hater, or does he also view himself like a leper? Good tune.
“Drive Back” by Neil Young (Zuma, 1975)
Not much going lyrically here, but it is fun to hear the band play with some real swagger. Again, it all comes down to the nastiness of the guitar sound. I like how the piano pops in and out too.
“Choke Point” by NO/MÁS (No Peace, 2026)
This week’s obligatory hardcore punk tune. When the drummer plays with a closed hi-hat during the song’s heaviest breakdown >>>>.
\ \ \ \ \ Micro Reviews / / / / /
Here are five micro reviews of albums from my vast Rate Your Music catalog. Long time Lamniformes Instagram followers will recognize these from my stories, however they’ve been re-edited and spruced up with links.
The Yes Album by Yes (1971) - Progressive Rock
As easy an on ramp from straight forward classic rock into the heights of PROG as you’re likely to find. Absent Pink Floyd’s psychedelic light show, Genesis’s literary pretensions, or King Crimson’s occult mysteries, Yes are mostly content to just hang out and have a good time. This sunny, hippie-ish disposition, along with the unapologetic focus on vocal arranging over instrumental fortitude (at least at first glance…), might lead some readers to assume that they’re lightweight compared to the rest of the scene. To this I reply: so what? A good part of Yes’s appeal comes from their peppy optimism, they literally sneak a “give peace a chance” into one song underneath all of the harmonized chanting. And besides, once you actually dig in there is some bonkers complicated playing hiding in plain sight. Just peep the bifurcated mix at the climax of “Perpetual Change” or the instrumental passage of “Yours Is No Disgrace”. They would lean more into those overtly prog tendencies on future records, but here they serve as overqualified support for songs you’ll want to sing with your friends in a field. Spiritually, this is the predecessor to the great Indie Class of ’09. Fun record.
Sad Wings of Destiny by Judas Priest (1976) - Heavy Metal
Heavy metal wouldn’t exist at all without Black Sabbath but it wouldn’t exist as it is without Judas Priest, and this classic in particular. Priest pointed metal in the direction of fleet fingered guitar duals and a vocal style that mixed semi-operatic shrieking with swaggering attitude. Sure, the sound of the music might not match today’s standard of heaviness but cut it some slack, it’s literally half a century old this year! Besides, the riffs themselves are undeniable, and it is a thrill to hear Rob Halford in any era. Listeners accustomed to Priest’s commercial peak might be surprised to hear how varied Halford’s approach is here. There are the piercing high notes, sure, but also some nearly Scott Walker-esque crooning, bluesman growls, Freddie Mercury-style stacked harmonies, and the delightfully campy character work of “The Ripper.” Along the same lines, it is fascinating to hear all of the elements of Priest’s early sound that did not become elements of the genre at large. How many other metal bands could dare to write a song like “Epitaph” let alone stick it between two absolute killers in “Genocide” and “Island of Domination”. My one minor complaint: the drums are boring as heck. You’re allowed to not hit the crash on beat one of the measure every once and a while, buddy!
The Moon & Antarctica by Modest Mouse (2000) - Indie Rock
Modest Mouse’s major label debut, and it sure does sound like it. The higher budget is audible not just in the greater degree of sonic experimentation, the more conventional instruments sound far more dialed in and considered too. Same goes for the songs themselves. The structures are tighter, the hooks more up front, and every track has at least one arrangement choice that makes it standout on a crowded track list. In essence they improved the aspect of their sound that I wasn’t interested in (Isaac Brock’s songwriting) at the expense of the aspect I most enjoyed (the loose jams). Is the trade off worth it? Well, Brock’s lyrics are certainly better here than on previous albums. I don’t think I realized as a teen how spiritually minded this band was. Lots of talk of the afterlife, the nature of the soul, etc. I’ll admit that the first half of the album is not really my thing, even though most of the famous songs are on it. However, once it gets to “Stars Are Projectors” it really takes off. “Stars”, “Lives” and “Life Like Weeds” are all timer Modest Mouse tunes, and the closing, nearly-hardcore tune is a blast. Much gratitude to the recommendation page of Questionable Content as always, truly a generational cheat code for interesting taste in music.
Era Vulgaris by Queens of the Stone Age (2007) - Rock
Millennial story time: for years I thought this record was a dud, but only because the pirated copy I’d snagged on MegaUpload was horrifically compressed and missing multiple tracks. Boy was I dumb for judging any album under such conditions. Thus Era Vulgaris is the anchovy pizza of Queens of the Stone Age albums. It seemed gross to me at first impression but after thinking about it for even five seconds it makes total sense. Salty, gritty, a little smelly from can juice, but in a way that fits right in with the essential ingredients. Homme & co go all in groove. Rock is dance music after all. The singles are both big winners, as are a number of deeper cuts like “River in the Road” and the twisty-turny title track. This is the first QOTSA album where the lyrics actively annoy me, but the music is as tasty as ever.
Black Clouds & Silver Linings by Dream Theater (2009) - Progressive Metal
Let the record show that I do not love prog or Dream Theater indiscriminately. This was Mike Portnoy’s final album with the band until 2025, and can you blame him? If I brought in two vulnerable songs about overcoming addiction and losing my father and my co-writer brought a power ballad about writer’s block and a shaggy dog story about meeting an Italian I’d want to quit the band too! Let’s get the positives out of the way. Portnoy’s two tunes are legit; one heavy metal riff fest that pays off a decade long experiment in incremental storytelling, the other a genuinely moving prog tune. Then there are the cons. It’s as if the band got so good at producing Dream Theater albums that they started to overlook the details necessary for making good Dream Theater songs. Some of these are minor (the way the instrumental section of “Rite of Passage” dead-ends bugs me but doesn’t seem to bother other fans) while others boarder on existential catastrophe. The opener tries and fails to keep pace with the extreme metal bands quickly lapping them in the prog scene, while the closer represents maybe the most extreme mismatch of musical excellence and lyrical inanity that I’ve ever heard. If I think too much about “The Count of Tuscany” it will literally drive me insane, so let me just say that the instrumentals-only disc on the special edition is essential for fans. The covers disc is pretty cool too.