I'm Getting Evicted lol

A personal update on Bandcamp Friday

The headline to today’s letter is not a joke. It is not an obtuse reference. It is about as straight forward a headline as I’ve ever written. Back in May I wrote about moving into a new apartment in Sunset Park, Brooklyn. Only two months later my roommates and I were served with notice of eviction. We had 90 days to pack up and get out. Those 90 days are now 60+ days closer to used up.

I’ve mostly kept this matter to myself, my close friends, and my family. It is not in my nature to complain about my personal life in public spaces. Moreover, I hoped that I’d have my living situation worked out quickly enough that I could smoothly transition into the next phase of my life without addressing it in real time. That hope has proven to be more than a little naive. As some readers know, ~*My Girlfriend*~ lives in Chicago. The silver lining of my living situation collapsing is that we’re planning on moving in together once I vacate my current spot. I look forward to this a great deal. However, the circumstances of how, when and where we will move in together relies on forces currently out of our control. It is a whole story full of boring details that I’d rather not dwell on.

Needless to say this has made my summer, uh, a lot less exuberant than other people’s. At a Laughing Stock show a few weeks ago a grown man asked me whether I was having a “brat summer”. I nearly took his head off before he relented and told me that his landlords were also kicking him out of his apartment. I’ve spent most of this summer in a daze, floating between cat-sitting gigs, short tours, and my day job, arriving at the end of each day in an apartment that I cannot legally speaking describe as my home. Every day I am faced with an uncomfortable dissonance. By all the personal metrics that matter I am doing great. I am healthier physically and mentally than I’ve been since at least 2019. I’ve got a job I love and a significant other that I love even more. And yet, the circumstances of my life are about as uncertain as they’ve been since I graduated college.

No matter how things shake out, whether I end up in Chicago or find another place in New York, my life is about to a lot more expensive for a while. As much as I love my job, teaching drums part time is not all that lucrative. Just as it is not in my nature to complain in public, asking for help in public does not come easy for me. I never want anyone to feel like they’re being coerced into supporting me. I also never want to ask for something with giving something in return. What I’m trying to say is that typing this next sentence makes my stomach hurt, but here goes. If you’ve enjoyed reading this newsletter, I would really, really, appreciate it if you could help me out.

There are a few ways that you can do that. If you’re in it for the long haul you can become a paying subscriber. For the price of $5 a month, or the brand new price of $40 a year, you’ll get exclusive bonuses like monthly playlists, early access to my music, and my eternal gratitude. Speaking practically my eternal gratitude means that I will write about literally anything that my paying subscribers suggest. Straight up, if you want it I will write it.

If you’d prefer to make a one-time purchase instead of adding another subscription to your monthly budget (trust me, I get it), you can buy something from my Bandcamp. Earlier this year I put out a new album of original music called The Lonely Atom. Personally I think it’s one of the best albums of the year, largely due to the incredible talents of my collaborators. The songs cover a whole bunch of different styles and genres, but are unified by the theme of reaching out trying to connect in an increasingly atomized and fractured world. You can click through the player below to buy a digital version of the album.

In addition to The Lonely Atom I also have a backlog of records that range from scrappy hardcore punk to artsy post-metal and even abstract electronic music. I love all of these projects in their own way as they capture who I was at distinct moments in my life. Sisyphean, the post-metal album from 2018, is probably the best of the bunch other than The Lonely Atom. Like The Lonely Atom it is available digitally, but you can also purchase it on cassette. Let me tell ya, the cassette version of Sisyphean is gorgeous. Top of the line packaging and design. If you live in New York City I will even hand deliver the cassette to you personally, unless you prefer to receive it by mail.

If you’re all set on music, I also have Lamniformes t-shirts available in a number of sizes. The shirts feature the circular Lamniformes logo from the Sisyphean and You Can’t Do This Alone albums. I think they look pretty classy and understated as far as t-shirts for metal-ish bands go! You can find the shirts along with all of the music I’ve mentioned at this link. Again, your support means the world to me. If this is the first newsletter you’ve received from me I promise that this letter is not indicative of the content that I usually write. Next week I’ll be back with a standard issue newsletter. Until then, thank you so so so so much.

\ \ \ \ \ Micro Reviews / / / / /

Here are five micro reviews from my high school and college collection of burnt CDs. Long time Lamniformes Instagram followers will recognize these from my stories back in 2021, however they’ve been re-edited and spruced up with links so that you can actually hear the music instead of just taking my word for it.

Hymns of Blood and Thunder by The Gates of Slumber (2009) - Heavy Metal

Some real classic American heavy metal. Fantasy lyrics, motorcycle riffs, beefy dudes in leather bellowing about Ancient Rome, etc. I used to listen to this a lot but it fell out of my rotation for some reason. They didn’t reinvent the wheel here, but this kicks ass nonetheless. It’s cool to hear this throwback style with modern production. The drums in particular sound huge.

Paradise Lost by Symphony X (2007) - Progressive Metal

Ah, Symphony X, the band that answers the question “what if a bunch of New Jersey History Channel dads could fucking shred?”. This record is a loose adaptation of Paradise Lost that was notably much heavier than their older material. While I enjoy their older, more melodic, stuff, I can’t deny that they are really good at mean & groovy. Singer Russell Allen really lays it on thick here, for the best. Still technical as hell, but if you ever wished that prog metal were more down’n’dirty, this is the album for you.

Somewhere Far Beyond by Blind Guardian (1992) - Power Metal

I’ve been ragging on power metal a lot in these reviews, but only because most of it pales in comparison to the righteousness of Blind Guardian. This record is where they hit their stride in the early 90s. Insanely catchy and high energy tunes about The Dark Tower, Lord of the Rings, Twin Peaks and more. Very nerdy and very fun. Best power metal album ever?

Music For Airports by Brian Eno (1978) - Ambient

A seminal piece of ambient music. Four long, slow pieces that are intended to slide in and out of your scope of attention. As much a functional tool as a piece of art to observe. Sort of feels beside the point to say whether I enjoy listening to this, although I do. Incredibly flexible as a piece of background music, you can throw this on at just about any occasion and it’ll improve the mood. Eno knew what he was doing.

In Sorte Diaboli by Dimmu Borgir (2007) - Black Metal

After the shock and controversy around the Norwegian black metal scene wore off, Dimmu Borgir did as much as anyone to turn the genre into a money maker in the mainstream metal world. For this record they brought the drummer of Mayhem along for the ride. I’ve heard much worse, but I am not a fan. The drums have that awful 00s typewriter sound, the songs lack hooks for the most part (this needed MORE clean vocals) and the riffs don’t kick enough ass to make up for it. “The Sacrilegious Scorn” is the only exception, fun tune with a gloriously campy music video.