What Would Olympic Drumming Look Like?
Fives on Friday 8/23/2024
Happy Friday!
As summer 2024 inches closer to the finish line, it is safe to say that these sweaty and sunny months were marked by a spirit of competition. The season began with a battle between rap titans a decade in the making. The ensuing weeks were soundtracked by pop stars valiantly, if vainly (in both senses of the word) struggling to overthrow the reign of Immorten Swift. And of course, at the heart of it, the Paris Olympics. When it came to topics of conversation the Paris games offered us a feast of options fit for a soon-to-be-headless king. Here, take a bite out of French death metal band Gojira performing at the opening ceremonies. Savor the nostalgic flavor of 1980s Satanic Panic in the backlash it received from right-wingers. Or, take two servings of Gold medal wins from the USA Men & Women’s Basketball teams. How about delightful Turkish sharpshooter memes for dessert? And yet with all of these options available, I most often found myself in conversations about Olympic Breaking. Another sure sign of Hip-Hop’s middle agedness, the debut of competitive breaking dancing at this year’s Olympics sparked everything from snide derision to serious philosophical inquiry among my friends. During one such conversation I was posed a question that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about since: how would I feel if drumming became an Olympic sport?
As I chewed on this question, my mental enzymes broke it down into two separated but related parts. First, whether I think drumming should be a competitive sport and second, if it were a competitive sport, what form I think it would take at the Olympics. The first is a question of morals and aesthetics, the second a matter of game design. As much as I’d like to skip straight to the fun stuff, it wouldn’t be responsible of me as a drummer and drum teacher to not at least grapple with the moral dimensions of the question. Would becoming a sport sully the art of drumming? Would joining the global order of the Olympics corrupt its spirit? These are serious questions, however I think they get a little ahead of their skis. Referring to drumming as an art, while flattering, skips a crucial step. Drumming is first a skill. Like the skill of painting,which can be applied to the functional purpose of painting a house and the the artistic act of portraiture et al, the skill of drumming can be used to a number of different ends. Throughout history people have drummed to communicate over long distances, organize military units and rowers on ships, take part in religious customs, annoy their neighbors, and yes, perform music. Even if we just bracket off drumming as a tool for music making there’s a wide range of different styles. Drumline, hand drumming, kit drumming, taiko drumming, etc. Olypmic drumming wouldn’t negate the existence of any of these categories, in the same way that Olympic marksmanship doesn’t negate the existence of amateur hunting. As to whether association with the Olympics would sully drumming’s soul, I think centuries of being used as a literal instrument of war have already put enough blood on drumming’s hands to make this a moot point, to say nothing of its ongoing involvement with the music industry.
Besides, there’s already a long history of competition in drumming. Drumline and marching band battles aren’t something I know much about, but they have a long history and the people that do care about them care about them a lot. When it comes to the drum set, popular drummers as far back as Gene Krupa and Buddy Rich have faced off in public displays of skill and dexterity. This tradition lives on to this day in the form of shed sessions made popular by church drummers or events like Drum Fight in Long Island, where Dream Theater’s Mike Portnoy faced off against The Dillinger Escape Plan’s Billy Rymer. These aren’t just frivolous side shows either. They have a palpable effect on the drumming landscape. Rymer vs Portnoy was an “Iverson crossing up Jordan” level event in prog metal. I’m certain that the shed between Thomas Pridgen and Tony Royster Jr. introduced a lot people to both drummers, and to the whole church-oriented linear drumming style. And how many people first knew Mike Mangini as the record holder for fastest single strokes before he got the Dream Theater gig?
Between these pre-existing forms of competitive drumming and the model offered to us by other Olympic sports it isn’t hard to imagine several possibilities for Olympic Drumming. We need only look at synchronized swimming to see how easily drumline could adapt to Olympic judgement. Following the example of Mike Mangini and Noah Lyes, we could hold contests of pure speed: how many notes in how much time. Heck, why not expand into the hand speed equivalent of track & field? How many notes can you fit into a minute only playing doubles? Paradiddles? These basic rudiments also show us how Olympic drumming could resemble gymnastics. Snare drummers could build routines out of the standardized rudiments, earning points for the finesse of their technique and the creativity of their transitions from one rudiment to another. Imagine if you will, a British announcer remarking with clipped enthusiasm on a drummer passing from a ratamacue into flamed quintuplets before finishing with a crisp seven-stroke roll. Simply brilliant.
Then of course there is the drum kit. The possibilities here are simultaneously exhilarating and rich with potential for controversy. The second my brain processes the question of competitive drum solos an entire lifetime’s worth of casual sports observation, shonen anime tournament arc appreciation, and interminable “X vs Y, who’s better” dorm room argument reflexes spring into action. Each nation elects their best representative. Maybe there’s a group stage, but quickly the stakes rise to win or go home. I could spend all day drafting up fascinating matchups. Eloy Casagrande representing Brazil, squared up against Jay Weinberg in the red, white and blue1. Thomas Lang vs Virgil Donati for the thrilling and difficult to announce Austria vs Australia match. Could Spain prove unbeatable with Estepario Siberiano in their corner, or could a more talented improviser befuddle him in a live setting? How far could Jamie Saint Marat take the underdog New Zealand?
Fantasy booking is fun, but in order to be a sport worthy of medals these matchups must have judge-able outcomes. This is less fun to imagine. For every salivating showdown there is an infuriating outcome where I lose sleeping wondering whether I’m the only sane man on earth. With the level of talent as high as it is, any one of these matches would face a chorus of voices calling it in the other direction. At best it would look like the NBA Dunk Contest between Zach LaVine and Aaron Gordon in 2016 where both performances are so sick that we all walk away feeling like winners. At worst it would look like, uh, the Dunk Contest ever since. Here I must concede that when it comes to drum battles like Pridgen vs Royster Jr or Rymer vs Portnoy, it’s best to leave it to the culture to decide the victor.
# # # # # The Self Promo Zone # # # # #
Last week, Laughing Stock released After Nature, a collection of three songs recorded in our rehearsal space in Bushwick. These three songs show off both our chaotic hardcore chops and our refined goth rock sensibilities. Zach and Mimo mixed the record. Corey made the art. I played drums and had a good time. You can stream the album for free on our Bandcamp, or you can purchase it for a price of your choice.
And ICYMI, I released the best album of my career earlier this year. It’s called The Lonely Atom and it features 11 songs about seeking connection in a world of mirrors and fractured personalities. The music is just as fractured, mixing and matching genres at will. I promise that if you’ve enjoyed the range of tunes and topics I’ve covered in this newsletter that you will find something to enjoy on this record. Give it a shot!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Listening Diary ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Here are five songs that I enjoyed listening to recently! You can find a Spotify playlist with all of this year’s tracks here, updated with new tracks every Monday-Friday.
“Devils in the Clouds” by Bubblegum Octopus (Perfect Life & Other Stuff, 2019)
Bubblegum Octopus closed the show Bellows in Highland Park, NJ two weeks ago with a set that punctuated the evening with enough exclamation points to dent the touch screen on your phone. According to the liner notes, this record is based on material that dates back to 2006. You can certainly hear some of that freewheeling MySpace Era genre-confusion here.However, the melodies that flow beneath the brash arrangement suggest a more mature and assured compositional style. Does the middle bit remind anyone else of Pain of Salvation?
“Norther” by Ex-Easter Island Head (Norther, 2024)
This is from the playlist that Henry sent Bellows on our drive down to Philly. The sparkly loop that starts the song went great with the sun showers and the rainbow moisture rising in the wake of the other cars on the road. When I first heard this I assumed that most of this song was electronic, but on a second listen I suspect most of the drumming and percussion were done IRL.
“Saving Flowers” by Salute (True Magic, 2024)
C’mon man, it’s Rina Sawayama singing over a Casiopea sample on a *terrible British accent* garage track.
“Leyendecker” by Battles (Mirrored, 2007)
“Norther” put me in the mood to revisit this late 00s classic. In retrospect I’m a little stunned by how critically successful such shredy music was back in the 2007. Took it for granted at the time. Has the nostalgia circle turned far enough for math rock bands to be danceable again? Can rock bands in general have this much fun with pedals again? Can there be more John Stainers?? We have the chops, but do we have the will?
“Step Into Yourself” by The Mad Capsule Markets (Osc-Dis, 2001)
A few weeks ago I joked about the Dynasty Warriors soundtrack being men yelling in the distance, breakbeats, and greaseball guitar riffs. TMCM give us the good version of that description with this song that combines rap rock, hyper-charged electronic breakbeats, and a guitar part straight out of a later period NIN song. Very cool!
\ \ \ \ \ Micro Reviews / / / / /
Here are five micro reviews from my high school and college collection of burnt CDs. Long time Lamniformes Instagram followers will recognize these from my stories back in 2021, however they’ve been re-edited and spruced up with links so that you can actually hear the music instead of just taking my word for it.
Pandemonium by Torture Squad (2003) - Thrash Metal
Brazilian thrash metal from the early 00s. They never caught on in the States. Probably too early to the re-thrash party and too death metal to catch on with the NWOAHM scene. There’s some really tight playing and a few nasty breaks on this album, but the songs are pretty samey and they lean too heavily on blast beats. Thrash metal needs the push and pull between fast and medium tempos to really work, imo. Blasting too much negates that.
This Godless Endeavor by Nevermore (2005) - Heavy Metal
The peak of this band’s career as far as I can tell, right as the NWOAHM boom was gong on. Mixes the ‘modern’ style of the 00s with a wailing classic metal vocal approach. There weren’t a lot of bands this big that sounded like this at the time. About 10 minutes too long but the stuff that is good is great, the opening and closing tracks in particular. A real guitarist’s record. Get ready for a lots of string-skipping and sweeps. The lyrics are relentlessly pessimistic, as the title suggests. I can’t tell if people still like this band, but this was huge at the time for a reason.
The Gates of Oblivion by Dark Moor (2002) - Power Metal
More cornball power metal, this time from Spain. Like a lot of power metal this has a lot of faux-classical aspirations, which is exciting if you’re a dork. Their singer sounds like she’s voicing the hero in a musical based on a Shonen anime. So yeah, very cheesy, but pretty fun if that’s your bag. If these kinds of records were like, 35 minutes long I bet I’d like them a lot more. Anything more than that makes me feel like I’m trapped in a Dungeons and Dragons game that I didn’t ask to join.
Trainwreck by Boy’s Night Out (2005) - Emo
A rock opera about a man who murders his wife in his sleep and becomes so wracked with guilt that he cuts off his limbs, gets addicted to painkillers and dies haunted by a song he imagines his wife is singing to him. This whole sordid tale is set to mid 00s emo/post hardcore. In a way this is the logical extreme of the 00s emo “I miss/want to kill my ex” stuff. The band smartly ask “well, then what happens?” This also sort of works as a metaphor for the making of a post hardcore record if you squint. More importantly the music is really catchy and stylistically varied for this genre. Neat!
Fun House (1970) & Raw Power (1973) by The Stooges - Punk Rock
This was another two-for-one gift from my 8th grade math teacher, which I dismissed as some weird boomer shit at the time. It wasn’t until much later that I understood how important, and outrageously sexy, these records were. These two albums make a great pair. Wild, rambling psych rock vs blown out and straight forward punk. I lol’d with joy a few times at how INSANELY LOUD Raw Power is. Pure rock chaos.
I’m mostly picking Weinberg for the fun of imagining a Slipknot show down. No offense to Weinberg, but I doubt he would represent the USA at the Olympics at a hypothetical drum off. The talent pool is DEEP.